As to Frank's game bulletin:  Dwarves rule, they kick ass, they're damn good looking with Arnold like muscles.  The Dwarves will save the day while the elves run the other way.  Taking down masses of green dragons; I'm so proud to be a dwarf.


Martin

All kidding aside, this is very cool, Frank.     GenCon, here we come!

Do not knock the dwarves for foresight.  Foolish elves - go dance around a fire.

Martin

NEWS FROM GORVALE

The elves and dwarves have again come into severe conflict, this time in the vicinity of Gorvale (now called Orcun by locals).

A week ago, an army of dwarves achieved a surprise rescue of the people of Woodstown, defeating a large army of evil humanoids with a number of dragons. But within days an unexpected backlash occurred amongst the residents of several Castle Cities, as many objected to the dwarves being so near to (and possibly underneath) Woodstown without the knowledge of the royal family. Prince Jason of Woodstown confirmed that their actions were a complete surprise, even to him.

During the past week, elves from Breem mounted a covert attack on the orc army that occupied Gorvale some time earlier. Their strategy was one of stealth and attrition, attempting to thin the outlying orc groups and, if possible, remove their senior leadership. However, in the midst of that operation, a large number of dwarves arrived from the east — very possibly veterans of the battle for Woodstown — and engaged the orcs en masse.

The results were unfortunate. Many elves were slain in the initial dwarf attack, and many others returned fire on the dwarves. (Unconfirmed reports indicate that some dwarves may have mistakenly identified the elves as orc allies.) The resulting tripartite engagement quickly degenerated into indiscriminate melee. We now know that the original objectives of the elven forces were not accomplished, that roughly equal numbers of casualties occurred among the elves, dwarves, and orcs, and that the orc army continues to hold the Castle City.

Typical rock headed response, the dwarves rush in like the brainless animals they are (not realizing their stench gives away any chance of surprise) and spoil a beautiful and incredibly planned attack of the elves.  Everyone knows if you finish off the leaders, orcs fall into savagery and their forces destroy themselves, saving much death and destruction.  As typical of their kind, the dwarves try to solve every problem with a shout and a bull rush, as if they will carry the day.

And to think elves would be orcish allies?  Please.  If any one of the stone humpers had an INT over 7 the orcs could have been routed. Instead the pebble brains screw the pooch. Nice going.

Mike B.

PROCLAMATION

The King and Queen have successfully concluded negotiations with the highest leaders of the Elven and Dwarven races, and have issued the following joint declaration.

"We extend our deepest thanks to the brave and selfless dwarves and elves who have come to the assistance of Empyreal citizens throughout the realm. The peoples of Gorvale and Woodstown also extend their special and singular gratitude to the elves and dwarves.

"We are gravely distressed at the recent misunderstandings that have led to conflict amongst our esteemed and honorable neighbors. The Pact of Neutrality, ratified between these peoples and Humankind in 177 JR, remains in place and is firmly supported by all parties. Friends we are, and friends we shall remain.

"To resolve these difficulties as soon as possible, to prevent further casualties amongst these peoples and ours, and to unite the Realm against the growing threat from the southlands, we now issue the following Joint Decree:

"Groups of dwarves and elves shall be selected to represent their peoples. Their numbers shall be six at least and no more than twelve in each group, and all selected shall exemplify the best that each race offers to the world. In two weeks' time these groups shall separately undertake certain Tasks, as set forth by this allied Council. The results thereof shall be recorded by Watchers and revealed throughout the Realm, thereby to demonstrate the nature and character of these great peoples.

"This is Hereby Decreed by King John and Queen Nuana of Empyrea, Lord Pudin VII of Krazandol, and Nuremonaliionara of Elt."

ExTSR wrote:PROCLAMATION



"Groups of dwarves and elves shall be selected to represent their peoples. Their numbers shall be six at least and no more than twelve in each group, and all selected shall exemplify the best that each race offers to the world. In two weeks' time these groups shall separately undertake certain Tasks, as set forth by this allied Council. The results thereof shall be recorded by Watchers and revealed throughout the Realm, thereby to demonstrate the nature and character of these great peoples.

"This is Hereby Decreed by King John and Queen Nuana of Empyrea, Lord Pudin VII of Krazandol, and Nuremonaliionara of Elt."

Good idea if the rockheads will go for it...just make sure it's proclaimed and not put into writing, as much of the stoneys can't read. A nice division would be say, 6 elves and a dozen or so dwarves. That way the power levels would remain even, because one of the Great Race is worth two stone humpers.  But I have nothing against the earth people, let it be known...they stand to learn much from our association, most notably proper hygiene.

Mike B.

See y'all there!

Don't forget your character sheets, otherwise you'll have to play Orcs. ;>

btw, the tab will be less than anticipated; I didn't have time to produce all the bells & whistles that I'd originally planned. But you'll like what you get, I'm sure.

Indy-bound...

F

kingofpain89 wrote:Nothing worse than wet gamer stink.

You obviously never attended an early GenCon at the old Horticultural Hall (otherwise known as the Sauna Pit) or you would know that there is one smell far worse. I refer, of course, to the miasmic stench otherwise known as "Sweaty Gamers". As I recall, by Sat. evening the air in there could make your eyes water and the ink fade on your notes.
For years, the joke at TSR was that if you wanted to predict the hottest, most humid weekend of the year, choose the one during which GenCon was scheduled. (I don't imagine that the fact that bitd gamers tended to place little or no value on keeping hygiene current and up-to-date helped thin the fog of BO, either.)